ReMembeRiNg Jenny

This was a JouRnal eNtry fRom October 29th , '2009 aNd a lot has cHaNged seNse tHeN...

As I struggle with my own health today, I am constantly coming back to this Cancer Scrapbook I made.
Let me tell you the recent story about this book.
I developed a close pen pal bond with one of my past scrapbook customers. Faithful she was in purchasing just about every scrapbook I made. Sending kind notes in the mail to me or sending me a care package filled with all the little secret things I cherished the most in life and I never told her what they were. She just simply knew how much I didn't want to feel alone anymore in my heart and I was scared, confused and utterly heartbroken over my health.
She had a special way of understanding me and some how providing me with comfort in my heart.
As quick as I was comforted by her wisdom, my dad passed away suddenly of cancer. She was the first one I reached out to, I just knew she would be on the other end to talk about my dads passing.
Then as life would have it, she was taken from this planet. I cried for days missing her, missing her gentle and soft spoken words. A deep ache came over my heart causing me to cry over someone so hard that I never met before. I wished she could have been my mother that I didn't have, I wish I could have met her. The bond we developed countries apart made the distance seem so small.
My Jenny, she left a wonderful family and she left so many others who cared for her deeply. I find myself asking her to comfort me when I feel so alone with my health problems. Whispering to her that I miss her and wishing she was on the other end.
Not knowing what else to do at the time I pored myself back into my scrapbooks, I had recently been to the craft store to pick up some supplies. As I passed by some cancer stickers, a little voice inside said, "make a cancer survivor scrapbook" in the 13 years of designing and making scrapbooks, I never had done this particular theme before. I quickly passed over it and went back to shopping. Returning weeks later, the same cancer stickers stood out to me and the voice inside me said,"make a cancer survivor scrapbook" I followed my intuition which often I don't do in this case and made my very first cancer survivor scrapbook.
Jenny's daughter loved this scrapbook and purchased to hold her mothers keepsakes in.
I shipped the package out to her not knowing that the scrapbook would get lost in the mail. Several weeks went by that the book had gone missing. Then out of no where the scrapbook was found. It had ended up at the neighbors house, it had found itself in the hands of an elderly man who had just lost his wife to cancer and thought that the scrapbook had been sent to him in honor of his wife.
Right then I knew I wasn't alone and that I was not going to face my health problems alone that I was being watched over.
I know Jenny had a roll in this and I know it was her that told me to make this scrapbook.
Now I struggle with my own health and it's getting harder to make scrapbooks with these aching hands and poor vision. What use to take 2-3 days is now taking 5-7 days but somehow I am reminded by Jenny that it's important for me to continue making my scrapbooks and to never give up. That these scrapbooks are meant to help others that may be in need of support and to know they are not alone. ~poeticgarden.com